One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
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