Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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