I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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