I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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