i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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