I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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