dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
