I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
