Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We are all done wearing pants today
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
