he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
