It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
this boner is exhausting
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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