You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
