it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
