He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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