your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
