he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
