Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
