well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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