Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Dick very happy bro
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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