Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Randomize
