do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
