Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
