Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize