The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
