We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Boobs speak an international language.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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