haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
