Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
