Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My cat gives me a boner
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
