Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
