Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
