i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
