my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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