That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
