Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Randomize
