It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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