She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
