umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The power of my boobs compel you
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
