I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
