you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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