no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
