that's an acceptable place to lick
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize