I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You were trust falling into bushes
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
