i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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