I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex