the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
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Dude you has no fucking this poptart
I dont know to explain this.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
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whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night