we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
