Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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