Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
