hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
