Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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