Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Randomize
