it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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