My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize