insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
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