wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
