You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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