it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
