I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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