69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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