Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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