It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
