last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
