i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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